Do you have a fussy 8-month-old baby? You might have had the happiest baby on the block. Then suddenly, one day, it all changes. Your little sunshine is whining, crying, and constantly demanding your attention and your arms.
What on earth happened? What did I do wrong? And above all, what can I do to get my sunshine baby back?
This post started as an answer to a mom with such a baby. After I answered, many parents commented about dealing with the same situation. So you’ll find both tips to help your whining baby and lots of comments by other parents here!
Mom’s question:
I have a fussy 8-month-old baby who cries whenever I put him down. As soon as I pick him up, he stops. He is cutting his second tooth but does not seem to be in any pain, and he did not do this when he was cutting his first tooth.
I make sure he stays fed, and his diaper is changed, but he still cries when he’s not being held. What am I doing wrong? Is there something I can do to make him happy again?
Tonya
Easy Baby Life:
The Fussy 8-Month-Old Baby – Normal But Exhausting!
Separation Anxiety in Babies
You’re not doing anything wrong; you’re just having a normal, fussy 8-month-old baby!
Separation anxiety, which is what your son is going through, is a normal development phase, so actually, you should be glad that it is happening. ;-) This happens when the baby starts to understand object permanence, i.e., something still exists even if they can’t see it. This can mean they look for a toy if you hide it or become very unhappy if you leave the room.
I know it can be quite exhausting, but it will pass. Studies indicate that babies who are held and carried a lot during this period actually get through the stage faster. I guess they simply get the security they need to take the next step.
6 Tips to Help a Fussy Baby with Separation Anxiety
So, to help him through this phase, here’s what to do:
1. Carry him
Carry him and do all you can to give him the closeness that he needs right now. And take turns with your spouse, mom, sister, or whoever he is safe with to not drive you insane!
If you can put him in a carrier or backpack and just let him tag along while you do your tasks, you will have a much happier child this way, and you will not lose your mind!
2. Play together
Try to get down on the floor and play with him as much as possible to help him feel comfortable also when not in your arms. You can find suggestions on games to play with an 8-month-old here.
In addition to making him feel safe, playing is important for children’s development, so a double win!
3. Responding is NOT Spoiling
Don’t ever think you’re spoiling or making him a crybaby by carrying him. You can’t spoil a baby!
At this age, our babies start to realize that they are separate beings from their moms, and it can make them very scared and insecure. The more we continue to be there for them and help them get back to feeling secure, the faster they will be ready for new adventures. Before you know it, your son will want to wriggle out of your arms and off to try something new. :-)
4. Ignore Unhelpful Comments
If some friends or relatives tell you that you are spoiling your child by responding to his needs, just smile, thank them for their comment, and ignore them. :-D
These comments are quite common, especially from older relatives or friends who don’t have children. They are probably trying to help, but if you allow them to make you feel insecure or annoyed, your baby may sense your negative feelings and become even fussier. So take a deep breath, and rest assured that responding to your baby’s needs is the best you can do, no matter what other people think!
5. Reinforce Signs of Independence
Reinforce every sign of your baby being content when not in your arms.
If, for example, you can put him in his high chair for a little while to play with picking up peas, boiled rice, or some other interesting finger foods, and he is content, give him a lot of attention and smiles so he feels really good while sitting there.
6. Manage Your Frustration
If you get annoyed when your baby cries or wants to be in your arms, he will sense it, making him even more insecure.
I know it can be extremely exhausting to be the preferred or only parent to a baby with separation anxiety, but just accept it, do what you can to help your baby through the phase, and find ways to laugh together.
It really is a lot easier to go through tough phases if you accept them rather than fight them, if you see what I mean.
Separation Anxiety on Video
This video clip shows the typical reaction caused by separation anxiety in a baby or young toddler. No toys or hugs from strangers will do. But there are ways to help your baby overcome separation anxiety. So you see, it is a normal process of development and bonding.
I hope this gave you some ideas and new energy to deal with your little fussy 8-month-old baby! This is a very normal and common situation. Good luck!
Paula
Read Next
- Baby Crying A Lot When Seeing New Faces (How to Deal with Stranger Anxiety!)
- Screaming 9-Month-Old Baby – What’s Wrong? 3 Reasons to Know
- 8-Month-Old Baby Throws Tantrums If Not Held – What Do I Do?
References on Separation Anxiety in Infants
Find lots of comments below, and do share your situation too. :-)
Paula Dennholt founded Easy Baby Life in 2006 and has been a passionate parenting and pregnancy writer since then. Her parenting approach and writing are based on studies in cognitive-behavioral models and therapy for children and her experience as a mother and stepmother. Life as a parent has convinced her of how crucial it is to put relationships before rules. She strongly believes in positive parenting and a science-based approach.
Paula cooperates with a team of pediatricians who assist in reviewing and writing articles.
Omg this is my fifth and he is 8 mo old and starting to cry all the time. When i take him to church he doesnt cry when i leave him with the nursery workers though. He is cutting his 2 tooth i think he has an ear infection. I hope that’s all it is! Good luck everybody!!!!
It is such a relief reading all these comments. My baby was so perfect for 7 months, i thought i was lucky until this week. It is like he is a completely different baby.
He has been fighting his naps and some of his meals. He wants to be held but then he wants to stand, sit, or jump out of my arms. He doesn’t cry, he screams to the top of his lungs when i try and put him down for his naps but is so tired that he doesnt want to play or do anything.
I had him on a schedule and am not sure if i should add another meal or what to do at this point. It could be teething but he has yet to get any teeth and i don’t see signs of any. I hope this passes soon!
It may be a phase especially if there has been any change in his routine. He may not be feeling well (ear infection or the cutting teeth can give them fevers).Take some much needed time for yourself for a couple.min. And approach him in a diff. Way and see if u can get diff. Results. Cuddle him for a few consecutive min with no distractions focusing only on him. Just some ideas. Hang in there! :-)
OMG, I am so happy I read all the comments, my little boy is the same way. The only time he is happy is if we go to the mall where he can see different people. He is also cutting his 2 top teeth. I love him to pieces but sometimes I wish I was back working so I could get a break!
I also have a cranky 8 month old. This is child #2 so you’d think I’d remember and be used to it by now. My 8 month old has turned into a different baby for the past 2 weeks. I’m about to lose my mind. I am going crazy. He doesn’t just fuss and whine when I put him down, it’s ALL the time. Even while he’s eating (solids), even if I’m right next to him. It’s all the time. He is cutting his 2 top teeth (I can see the cut in the gums but the tooth hasn’t descended yet) but I just can’t believe that the teeth are responsible for this, since he’ll be happy and laugh and smile, and then whine and cry all in a matter of 2 minutes. He whines every 2 – 3 minutes. I might run away from home lol
My daughter is almost eight months old and cries each time I put her down or walk out of the room. I try to give her toys to play with when I need to take care of her older brother… or do dishes… cook… anything… and she just cries. I just let her do so because nothing I can do with make her happy unless I pick her up or entertain her… which I am not able to do constantly. It is driving me nuts… but I know that it is normal.
I would just like to add that in addition to the fussiness during the day, my son has started nursing all night long. He has never been a good sleeper, but things were getting a little better. Now he just won’t let go. I work from home, and my husband is with baby most of the day, but I hear everything, and I feel so guilty, like he’s like that just because he misses me. So I try to spend lots of time with him and give him lots of cuddles. This helps, but he still seems to try to make up for it at night. He’s also just really antsy and wants to get into everything, though he can’t quite yet. It is getting really tiring! But, like everyone else, I’m glad to read that this is normal.
My daughter same thing 8 months old and crying, testing her vocals screaming, and if you leave the room is in disarray!!! It’s tough nothing seemed to help!!! I gave her teething rings, sugar free pops, ice, cold washcloth nothing seems to work but one product on line for teething medicine it’s from Native Remedies!!! That worked and baby mum mums then she’s one happy baby!!!!!!
So crazy how they are all going through the same things. Even a lot of them are cutting those top two teeth at this time like mine is too! Such a grump right now. He can play with his toys maaaaybe 5 min and then fusses. Move him. Play for like 2 min then fusses. And then just fusses the rest of the day. He is fine when he’s around other kids to distract him or if we are on a walk but that’s about it! SO happy I found this thread. I was like “ where did my easy going baby go??” “Did I spoil him by playing with him too much?” Glad it’s a phase. I was scared this was his new personality!
I am ohh so glad I read all of your comments, My baby is 8 months and I feel like I just am not making her happy wich in turn is making me cry,she is normally pretty happy, but latley she crys and wines and throughs a pretty good fit when I put her down, it is good to know that seperation anxiety is part of the problem, plus she is cutting her two upper teeth,thank you all for sharing, it give me support during this milestone:-)
So glad to read that not only is this separation anxiety but that I’m not the only mom it drives insane lol :)
This has been going on at our house for the last month. My husband said there is something wrong, glad to know it’s just a normal stage in development! Oh and because I can’t let it slide, until recently I worked full-time, now I am a SAHM mom–to the person who said it’s difficult “especially” for us moms who work full time, just so you know—IT’S HARDER FOR STAY AT HOME MOMS!!!!!!! I know this now :)
I do feel much better knowing that there are other mothers and caretakers going through the same exact thing as I am at the moment.
My son is 8 1/2 months old and cutting two teeth up top, he already has two teeth on the bottom, but has been just miserable. He hates being on his belly so he isn’t crawling yet. He wants me to walk him all over the house ALL DAY LONG.
He’s constantly whining or crying if I’m not helping him walk even if he’s among a ton of his toys! I’ve been giving him infant advil every 4-6 hours for his teeth, but nothing seems to help.
Luckily he does still sleep well during the day and night….naps twice during the day anywhere from 2-3 hours at a time and also sleeps pretty well at night for the most part. He wakes crying sometimes and we’ll give him his pacifier or a bottle sometimes and that seems to help.
I just wish he was a happy baby during the day again. Hopefully this will pass soon!
My son is one week from 8 months and he is starting to become a lot more irritable. It seemed impossible to do anything without him attached to my hip but I have discovered a few things that just worked right for us:
– I put Ryker (my son) in a bouncer and put him in from of the TV with sprout on. I know a TV is not always the answer but he seems to enjoy it and I can have a moment to prepare dinner or prepare another cup of coffee.
– I also put a wet washcloth in the freezer and let it freeze or cool, he likes to suck the water out and that keeps him satisfied for a while.
– I also have “naked butt time”. I don’t know why but my son LOVES naked butt time. I just let him hang out with his butt free. He feels so free and I’m sure he enjoys the air passing.
– He also likes his Gerber “puff” treats, but those never last long either.. I hope these ideas help.
I’m dealing with the same problems with the 7 1/2 month old. I can’t ever put him down anymore. All he does is fuss and fights naps and sleep. His sleep is regressing now, too. He fights going to bed at night and wakes up after only a few hours. He doesn’t have any teeth yet, and I keep thinking this is the problem. Not exactly sure what’s going on. I can’t put him down for even a few minutes to play. He screams, and his toys don’t make him happy at all.
The joys of the eight month old! Cutting teeth, testing boundaries, testing vocal chords and everything in between. My daughter is fussing unless she is asleep, nursing or if I am so lucky sometimes mickey mouse clubhouse will keep her entertained but I can’t do these things all day. Something I found recently are these mesh food suckers called flavor savors. It allows the child to suck on anything you put in the mesh container ie: frozen fruit (for the teething baby) or fresh fruit and veg. For flavor. She loves it and keeps her content for a little over half an hour. Also if your baby is being uncontrollably fussy, take 5 min. Alone (in earshot, maybe with a monitor and just turn it down) when u come back, try and be positive and play and comforter her than try something to distract her after a few min. Babies are geniuses at detected your moods. I do feel your pain ladies, I’m going through it right now, doesn’t seem like there are any quick fixes but the little bits of sanity here and there make a big difference. I take pictures when she throws her fits some times and think about the things I want to tell her when she is grown up and see’s them. It makes me smile, and she gets a kick out of it sometimes. So try and enjoy the neediness now and embrace what you can, we’ll make it through and laugh later :-)
I so completely relate with you all; particularly that last comment. My daughter is ten days shy of 9 months and the last few weeks have been practically unbearable. She was always such a good quiet baby, now she’s still good but just not quiet at all. :) She still sleeps through the night, but her bottom teeth are coming in (hasn’t cut even one yet but I know they are coming) and I can’t leave her for hardly any time at all. Sometimes Daddy cans soothe her but mostly…just me. And he’s gone all the time and i have NO life so I am absolutely going insane. It’s exhausting being the only one needed 700% of the time. Everyone tells you “you do what you gotta” and while that’s true, it’s incredibly unhelpful. Just love on your little one through it. They’ll become a better person for your love. However, if anyone finds a quick solution to separation anxiety I’m sure we’d all like to hear it. :) I just have to look at the bright side and say “Well…I know she loves me. :-)”
Good luck to all women
I don’t know if my problem belongs here, since my child cries all the time since she was 2 mts, but it has gotten so much worse now in the 8th mt..I am having a hard time dealing with it, she wont sleep unless I hold her to sleep and the min I put her down she wakes..I know she is over tiredm, and so is my 3 year old who shares a room with her! I am alone with the 2 of them all day and night. I feel like it’s always a fight and I just can’t fight anymore!
My baby girl is 7 months and has been doing the groaning, fussing, ect for about a month. I am so happy to know that I am not alone!!
Thanks! and God Bless!
My son is a little over 7 months and is so fussy. Most of the day, he is squealing in a very high pitched fuss. I’ve tried everything I can think of. He’ll play with a toy for 5 min. and then start fussing. I’ve tried ignoring it, but then it turns into a full blown scream. Singing to him helps, but it is exhausting singing to him all of the time. I give him teething tablets, gel, etc., but I don’t even know if it’s helping. Lord, be with us all!
My daughter is nearly 8 months and is going through the same she screams at me, pinches and seems to get angry she is very clingy at the moment, she also has just cut her first 2 teeth she never used to cry but is grizzly most the day everyday
yes, i also have a fussy 8 month old… my daughter started waving her hands & pushing my hands away…i don’t understand it…she’s having like mini temper tantrums…
uh oh..hope this is not things to come!
After reading all these posts, I feel completely relieved that this is a phase. My 8-month-old had always been a content baby, even through cutting her first teeth (around 5 months), she never seemed to fuss this much. She is now cutting a tooth but has been very clingy. She isn’t one to cry but she will complain by moaning, yelling or even screaming for me to pick her up. I feel that 95% of my day is spent having to constantly find things to entertain her and even when I do hold her, she gets very grouchy, and restless almost. She pushes my hands away all the time now and when I tell her “No” now she waves her hand at me if almost to hit me. She’s been very fussy and seems to have a mini-mean streak so it’s hard to cuddle and give her all the holding when she starts acting like that. I am pretty sure by reading everyone’s post, it’s probably a mix up of both teething and separation anxiety…but has anyone else dealt with their 8-9-month-old getting a little mean??
My daughter will be 8mos old in 4 days and has just started showing signs of separation anxiety.
She was always so happy and content too. I would be able to leave the room and get things done.
Now she cries when I put her down and when I leave the room.
I’m glad I went on this site, too, to make sure it was that.
I hope this passes soon!
Thank you Thank you!!! My baby is experiencing the same thing, and my husband and I are starting to go crazy! The question is… when does it end?!
Ditto to all comments… we are 8 months and experiencing this very shift! so when will she stop screaming and requiring constant entertainment? soon? any activity/toy suggestions for 8-month-old?
My son is the same; he”s almost nine months, but he has been like this for a while. I thought it would get easier when he started crawling, but it barely made a difference. I can’t go to the washroom without having to bring him; he cries so that he”s sweating, and the second I pick him up, he stops and starts smiling I’m hoping its the anxiety thing
Wow, you’re not kidding; my baby is going through the exact things I am reading.. he was the best baby, and now he screams and cries a lot every time I put him down for playtime, nap, etc… He has 6 teeth and a lot more coming in on the top so teething and separation anxiety, please pass soon I mean really soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I, too, am SO relieved to hear that I am not the only one going through this! My son is almost 8 months and was typically the happiest baby. Now he seems to fall apart completely when I put him down for any reason. I am exhausted! But like all things with babies, this too shall pass. Thanks for all the comfort!
I’m so glad I did some research on this because I was about to pull my hair out!
My 8-month-old is one of the happiest babies I’ve ever seen in my life but since the last week every time I put him down for a nap he cries and cries and cries if I set him down for a second to leave the room, he cries and cries and cries. In the afternoon is the worst!
I try to put him down for his afternoon nap and I’ve tried my darndest for an hour to ignore the crying but I couldn’t take it anymore! So in the afternoon I’ve taken away is early afternoon nap and been going to the park and going for walks with him…afterwards he’s still fussy but it gives me a few hours of non-fussy baby! lol
I’m not sure if he’s teething or not, he doesn’t have a bud yet but I can almost guess he is, so I Orajel him sometimes and it works so maybe this too has something to do with it. But I’m soooooooooooooooooooooooo tired.
I’m glad I’m not the only one going through this.
My son is one week shy of being 8 months old and I am going crazy! It is so good to know what is actually happening to him! I feel that I can maybe cope now. Good luck to all the other moms out there!
My 8-month-old daughter, who up until about a week ago never cried unless hungry or tired, started screaming when she was sat down or I walked out of the room. I realized it was separation anxiety, and all I can say is, I hope it passes quickly. 🙂
Hi Same case with my 8 month old son. He used to play on his own when left alone with toys. But now, he always is fussy or crying for no reason. Good to know about separation anxiety. My baby started teething too, first tooth…
Sailaja
Ok so my son is 8 months and a half. For the past week he cries so much when I put him down or whenever I leave the room. Not just me he’s like this with my husband and my husbands brother. I feel exhausted because he has never acted like this before. He is also teething.
I’m glad I read this cause now I know he’s not just being fussy. I’m glad to know it’s separation anxiety. Thanx so much
this post is what three years old and I’m still glad i found it today! My 8 month old is typically the happiest little boy but that has changed, He is soo clingy and cranky and this is our second week at it. I’m trying to stay sane! Thanks for this post
Okay so my baby is 8 months shes got 2 teeth and 4 cutting through but she doesnt seemed bothered by her teething but for the last week or two ive tried just about everything and nothing soothes her she just cries non-stop. She cries most of the night and most of the day for hours what should i do
Okay so my daughter is 8 months old and she has 4 teeth coming in and she has two out but her teething doesnt seem to bother i pick her up and she stops crying for litterly a min. Them she starts crying and nothing soothes her she just wont stop crying and it gets worse at nigh i mean ive feed her changed her diaper ive tried and checked everything and nothing seems wrong she just wont stop crying
Thank heavens for the internet, I was on the verge of cracking my brain till I read this article & the comments that went with it! It feels safe and comforting that I’m not the only mother going through this 8 month “developmental milestone” :-)
I’m just so relieved that this clingy business has something to do w/ either teething or separation anxiety. My baby girl who’s a week shy until she’s 8 months just had her 2 lower front teeth. Prior to this, she’s been such a happy & content baby ( attachment parenting, that is) playing on her own, allowing me to go to the loo, getting the dinner done, all together, I thought it was all systems go for us. BUT no, otherwise, we’re talking about a fairy tale here. She can’t be left alone for any longer than a minute, at around 6 pm, she can’t not be held or carried & the bath that she always looked forward too was now a source of grief for her, going ballistic!
I can’t think of anything else that’s wrong w/ her until now. I just realized that she’s teething & being weaned ( I think too soon, too quick) & not a good combination. I think I’ll back off a bit w/ the weaning, slow it down. And not get pissed every time “society” ( friends, family) tells me that I’m breastfeeding her for soooo long (all of 8 months that is) & carrying her & giving her a lot of attention will spoil her. From now on, I will learn to smile at those comments, sincerely smile as they don’t know what they are missing… The giggles & smiles I get from my little girl as a happy & well-connected baby…
Great to read all your comments, I’m so relieved & inspired to carry on listening to my own instincts, listen to my baby, and have an open heart!
My son will be 8 months old in 4 days and he is driving me insane!!! When he was young he was an angel, and then he hit 6 months and started getting crazy but no biggie… and now 8 months. I read about separation anxiety but I had no idea it was this bad and nobody told me this when I had him, lol. Sometimes I think it’s his teeth because he cut 2 at the bottom already and sometimes when I put the baby Orajel on his top he will be quiet. But for the most part, he just cries and looks at me. And he tries so hard to make tears come out, at first I thought it was real! I even thought he might be sick or getting an ear infection, but no. I’m staring at him right now and he is squeezing tears out with the saddest face ever. As soon as I pick him up, he’s ok. WOW!!! God be with us all!!
My lil 8-month-old is fussy at times when I’m breast feeding… She loves her food and doesn’t nap much. I know she’s getting 4 top teeth at once. I’m glad I’m not the only mom out there with fussy little ones…although she’s not fussy all the time…thanx:)
My son is a few days shy of being 8 months old and just the past couple of nights he won’t sleep without me. He wakes up screaming and crying every 20 minutes or so and won’t sleep for longer than that unless he is sleeping with me. And every time I leave the room he gets so upset. I’m glad to know I’m not the only Mother dealing with this and hopefully this passes soon.
My daughter has just turned 8 months old and just in this past week, she has been a different baby. She was so good and played by herself, now she cries when I walk away or cries when it’s nap time. Ok just all the time. I thought I was doing something wrong. She is also cutting 4 teeth at once on the top! Already has 2 bottom. I feel better now. Thank you! I really thought what could have changed?
Hello! I am glad that I am not going crazy and that all of this is indeed normal. My son seemed to only be fussy when hungry or wet. I often wonder if the increased fussiness is due to separation anxiety (especially since I returned to work full time about a month ago) and because I am trying to wean him from breast to sippy cup. He is so clingy now and is attached to me like GLUE! I wouldn’t mind as much if I wasn’t so EXHAUSTED from a long, frustrating day at work. Help me! Is this going to last much longer? My mother and mom-in-law tell me to enjoy these days most while they are babies because it only gets harder….
I am going through the same thing, my 7-month-old was the sweetest baby. She never cried for anything, not even when she bumped her head on the floor from crawling. Now that she is 8 months old she cries at EVERYTHING! She just cut her first tooth 5 day ago, and since then she is a different baby! Nothing makes her happy unless I am holding her and playing with her at the same time! I can’t cuddle with her, put her down on the floor, don’t even think about putting her in her crib and walking away! I just hate the fact that separation anxiety and teething has to be at the same time :(
I made this post 3 months ago about my 8 month old being fussy. I took her to the doctor, hospital numerous times and they kept telling me nothing was wrong and that it would go away. WELL… I finally got in to see a pediatrician and all it was, was acid reflux! He gave me some medicine and in 3 DAYS she was sleeping through the night, and happy all the time again! So if you feel that there really is something wrong with your little one, stick to your instincts and make sure you find out if there really is a problem! Because there ARE easy solutions!
My daughter is almost 8 months old and for the past week or so she has been such a grouch pot! It’s driving me nuts. If me or my husband are not constantly entertaining her, she cries. I know she is about to cut a tooth but I wonder if she is also experiencing separation anxiety. It’s exhausting, especially for us moms that have to work full time too!!!
My son is 8 months and 1 week old. He used to only cry when he is hungry, tired or need us to change his diaper but since 4 days ago, he had been the fussiest baby on the block. He would cry and cry and cry when I walk away from him for more than 5 inches. He’d always wanted to be held and will not play on his own. I didn’t see any teeth buds but assume he is probably teething since he is chewing his toys a lot lately but good to know that separation anxiety has something to do with it. I hope this passes very soon! I am getting very very very tired…
Separation Anxiety, good to know that exists! Cause I thought I was going insane!
My son will be 8-months old tomorrow and he has usually only cried when tired or hungry. Now it is VERY comforting to know that he is dealing with separation anxiety and is teething. He just cut his first tooth this past weekend
Like everyone else on this page, I am SO relieved to read all of these posts! Big exhale. I was so perplexed about my baby’s bizarre behaviour that today I literally went prodding and massaging all over her body like a vet does to a cat, thinking I’d magically find some broken bone sticking out somewhere or something. Haha
There is a growth spurt at that age.My Lo was chilled out baby but he started to go through the same phase at 9 months, he has learned how to crawl, cruise & talk during this period, he was so fussy & he went through a sleep regression. It took 5 weeks to settle down.
Thanks, Deena, I agree completely. And there is light at the end of the tunnel. :-)