My baby is suddenly scared of Dad. Is this normal developmental behavior? What do to?
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Mom’s Question:
Today one of my 9-month-old baby twins suddenly started acting scared of his dad… He was fine just 10 minutes before.
They were playing with a music toy and laughing. My husband took the trash out, came back inside, and my son acted as if he was a stranger! He just constantly stared at my husband, then he would start to cry, suddenly stop, and stare at him again. This went on for 2 hours.
When my husband brought my son to me, I sat him in my lap, and he continued to watch the hallway (my husband had walked down the hall) until my husband reappeared in the living room.
My son has never done anything like this before. Does anyone have any advice? I don’t want to overreact, but I am worried. Is it normal development behavior for a baby to suddenly be scared of dad, or is something seriously wrong?
Thanks, Shelly
9-Month-Old Baby Is Scared Of Dad
Is This Really Normal?
Don’t worry; babies often make funny decisions and react fearfully for no reason! It may be that your baby got a fright or heard a funny noise, and at the same time, your husband appeared in the room, which made your baby associate that fearful feeling with his Dad.
Fathers are usually bigger, have deeper voices, and don’t interact with babies as verbally as Mom does. He is still at the stage where Mommy is his security, and babies sometimes react oddly to their father. Don’t worry; it is perfectly normal; it just seems more apparent to you because you have two babies to compare!
9 months is a typical age when both separation anxiety and stranger anxiety can be at their peak, so his reaction actually shows that he is developing in completely normal ways!
What to Do When Baby is Scared of Dad
Now, what to do about the situation?
Don’t force the issue; just have your husband play lots of games, cuddling time, and maybe some quieter games, with lots of smiling and eye contact. Peepo games are a good way to create fun and teach him to understand people come back – just make them funny, not scarey.
The one thing NOT to do is to try to force your son to “get used to” his dad by, for example, having him hold him, although he is obviously scared. This can make things even worse. So take it step by step at a pace that makes your son comfortable.
Don’t worry; he will gain trust again with his father, and as he develops his personality more and more, you will notice many ways your twins are different.
Enjoy your babies; you will have a busy time for a while!
Paula
More About 9-Month-Old Babies
- 9 Month Baby Milestones, Games And Toy Tips
- 9 Month Baby Won’t Sleep
- Screaming 9 Month Old
- 9 Month Baby Rejecting Mom
Paula Dennholt founded Easy Baby Life in 2006 and has been a passionate parenting and pregnancy writer since then. Her parenting approach and writing are based on studies in cognitive-behavioral models and therapy for children and her experience as a mother and stepmother. Life as a parent has convinced her of how crucial it is to put relationships before rules. She strongly believes in positive parenting and a science-based approach.
Paula cooperates with a team of pediatricians who assist in reviewing and writing articles.
Hi Shelly,
Don’t think you have to worry. My baby also 9 months did exactly the same thing with my mom. She also jut stared at her and cried frantically. Its just a phase. If you read about 9 months old babies’ development, stranger anxiety is common at this age.