Baby Cries When Left Alone?

Mom’s Question:

Why does my baby cry when left alone, even for a second i.e. when I go and get his nappies or food, etc? He is six months and also does not go back to sleep when he wakes in the middle of the night unless I pat him and he knows I’m there.

I am exhausted. When will it stop??? Help!!

Separation Anxiety In 6-Month-Old Baby

Don’t worry; it will stop! But at present, he is anxious that you are going to disappear from his world and has no way of understanding you will come back. Your son is a good example of a baby that really would benefit from being carried in a sling for as much of the day as possible. You would find he would then start to settle better at other times as he will get “filled up” with Mama.

Some babies are more anxious and less settled, and that may just be his temperament, it may be the effect of his birth, or it may be he is very sensitive and needs heaps of contact and reassurance.

Some people give terrible advice, like leaving them to cry so they get used to doing without you, but at this age that is just cruel. As he develops more he will start to learn that you are coming back. You can start playing peepo games where you disappear for a second then pop up with a big smile on your face. That starts to teach him that you come back. (You’ll find more tips on games and info about 6-month-old babies here.)

Eventually, you can go out of the room, but still with voice contact, then pop back in, again, lots of smiles. Just give it time and make a game out of disappearing, rather than being annoyed – he will also be picking up on your annoyance and that will make him even more anxious!

I can totally understand your frustration; my daughter was exactly the same. If I carried her around, she was happy as anything, but the minute I put her down she cried. By the time she got to about 8 months, she was much more relaxed when I left the room, although still would not go to very many other people. You will be glad to know she is now one of the most independent people I know, so it doesn’t last forever!

Just be patient and remember, your baby cries because he needs you, not because he is manipulating you.

Just ENJOY him!
Paula

More Babies That Cry If Left Alone

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Comments for “Baby Cries When Left Alone?”

Nov 16, 2013

Please help
by: Crying

Hello,

My baby is 5 months next week and she has recently started to cry as soon as I put her down, in the daytime when it is just me and her she is fine, but as soon as her daddy comes home from work or her nan or anyone is there she starts for me to pick her up, I can not do a thing.

I am meant to be going back into work next week, is that a bad thing? I feel like I am being a horrible mum by leaving her with her nan, but I also need to go back to work as being a parent costs a lot. What can I do please help!!! She was also in hospital for a few weeks at birth so it was just her and me. I have been out once and daddy looked after her I was out for 2 hours and she got so upset she was violenty sick where she had been crying so much???????

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Baby Help Line: Your baby is at an age where it is completely natural to be dependent on Mom. She will get used to spending time other people as she develops, this is nothing worry about. Regarding you going back to work, I understand completely how you feel; it will be tough on both of you. If there is any possibility at all that you can work part-time for a while or go home at lunch, or even have nanny come over to work so you can play a bit, then you can help your daughter adapt. Also consider letting her sleep in your bed, to get mom-time even if she doesn’t see you during the daytime. She will get used to it, but expect some reactions in the beginning – she may start rejecting you, whine more or show any other type of reaction. Whatever she does, just spend as much time as possible with her when you can and play, have fun and laugh a lot. That way, you’ll both adapt more quickly to the new situation. Good luck!

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Paula Dennholt

Paula Dennholt founded Easy Baby Life in 2006 and has been a passionate parenting and pregnancy writer since then. Her parenting approach and writing are based on studies in cognitive-behavioral models and therapy for children and her experience as a mother and stepmother. Life as a parent has convinced her of how crucial it is to put relationships before rules. She strongly believes in positive parenting and a science-based approach.

Paula cooperates with a team of pediatricians who assist in reviewing and writing articles.