Mom’s question:
My 4-month-old baby is crying all the time! He never sleeps, it’s such a battle to get him to sleep! He cries all day long, not just crying but screaming.
What do I do; doctors say it’s colic or reflux.
He refuses bottles also, but as he is putting on weight no one seems to worry. I’m worried, though, it’s so frustrating. Please anyone with any ideas.
Baby Helpline:
Some Tips For Miserable Baby
The first thing you should do is to contact a better doctor! I get upset when I hear about moms who are in your situation – getting a “maybe” diagnosis and nothing more. These days there is medication available both for colic and reflux and your baby deserves proper medical attention! When a baby is crying all the time, something is clearly wrong and even if turns out to be infant colic, you need support and help.
Here are several things you can do at home to improve the situation, while at the same time contacting another doctor:
1. Elevate his crib – One thing you can do at home if you haven’t done it yet is to try elevating your son’s crib some 30 degrees to see if it helps his sleeping. If it does, you should definitely discuss reflux in more detail with a doctor.
2. Baby massage – One possible home remedy for colic is baby massage. Buy a good book with pictures that explain how to do it and give it a try. You can also learn more about colic and possible remedies here.
3. Upright feeding position – When feeding your baby (breast or bottle) try keeping him in an upright position; this will help both colic and reflux.
4. Other types of formula – If you do give your baby formula, you could also experiment with giving him other types, such as for example soy-based or lactose-free. A good pediatrician should be able to recommend proper brands where you live. And don’t forget to burp your baby!
5. Bottle feeding – You say that your baby refuses the bottle. If he is mainly breastfed, this is common. It can also be the other way around – a breastfed baby who gets access to a bottle may very well start rejecting the breast. Anyway, you might find these tips on how to get your baby to accept bottle-feeding useful.
6. Log the crying – In addition to all these steps, try to log what happens right before your baby starts to cry. Sometimes we are so tired and stressed that we don’t see what triggers their discomfort.
7. Carry him a lot – Also remember that whatever is bothering your baby, being close to you is likely to make him feel better, so invest in a good baby carrier and simply let him spend a lot of time there. The baby carrier saved my sanity and my back when I had a little one who only wanted to be in my arms. It might make the days a bit easier for both of you.
8. Focus on the good – Finally, remember to keep hold of the good times! Try to play, cuddle and interact as much as you can with your son. If he is in pain and also feels your stress, he needs your help to feel good and laugh. It will make both of you feel better! For some ideas on how to play with a 4-month-old baby, read this post! And here are tips on attachment parenting for babies.
I hope this provides you with a few ideas and some stamina to not give up!
Good luck!
Paula
More Crying Babies
- Baby Is Always Crying – Colic Or Reflux?
- Why Is My 4 Month Baby Crying?
- 5 Month Baby Started Crying All The Time
- Acid Reflux in Babies and Toddlers: Symptoms, Causes, Treatments
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Paula Dennholt founded Easy Baby Life in 2006 and has been a passionate parenting and pregnancy writer since then. Her parenting approach and writing are based on studies in cognitive-behavioral models and therapy for children and her experience as a mother and stepmother. Life as a parent has convinced her of how crucial it is to put relationships before rules. She strongly believes in positive parenting and a science-based approach.
Paula cooperates with a team of pediatricians who assist in reviewing and writing articles.
i have a newborn grandson about 2 weeks old now, when we feed him during the day he is good and burps fine, but at night time he has a hard time burping and then his tummy gets hard like cramps and he just cries (looks like in pain) does anyone have any suggestions. we are using infamil gentle right now but thinking of changing to just infamil, the poor little guys cries till 3 or 5 in the morning then he sleeps good for about 4 hours – please help any advice is appreciated
Hi David,
It is actually very commmon that newborn babies are restless and cry at night and have tummy pain. 3 to 5 in the morning is the textbook time. :-) It is probably due to gas, just as you say. Have you tried helping him release the gas? An effective way to do it is to push his knees gently towards his tummy and wriggle a little bit. You might have to hold his legs in that position for a little while or take his legs down and push again a few times. For many babies this is enough to make them fart and for the pain stop.
Another possibility is acid reflux. But if he sleeps in the same position during daytime without the pain, I believe gas is more likely.
Let me know if it works!
I am sorry to say I am glad someone else is having the same problems we are. My baby just turned 2 months yesterday. I don’t know if I can really remember her not crying. It is so few and far between. She wakes up, she cries. It doesn’t matter. And heaven forbid you lay her on her back, screaming will commence. We are so frustrated and I feel like everyone who said babies are beautiful, fun bundles of joy, LIED to us. I want to feel happy to have my baby. It took us 8 years of trying and a specialist to get her. All that work to feel so unable to help my child, is very hard to take.
Lilly,
Have you taken your baby to a pediatrician? If she screams when placed on her back she might be suffering from reflux, for example. And a lot can be done to help her in such case. And even if she has colic there are remedies these days that might help her too.
Regarding the image of the happy new family – for many new families, that image is completely false. A new baby is overwhelming and a huge change for the couple. I can totally understand your disappointment, especially since you had to wait for such a long time. It is easy to get very high expectations then.
Babies scream. They need a lot of attention and they scream anyway. They often make their parents (and especially the moms) completely exhausted. Especially the first three months are often the worst. After that many babies seem to calm down slowly.
I actually felt as if I was going to die from pure exhaustion when my first baby was around 2 months old. But you don’t. And somehow you endure and then slowly things start to get easier. And happier.
In addition to taking your baby to the doctor to have her examined for reflux and other possible reasons for her crying, make sure you take turns with your partner and also invest in a baby sling or carrier of she is calmer when held, so that you can have your hands free while carrying her.
Some babies also get calmer using baby massage or giving them a nice, warm bath.
Also see if you can find a brave friend or relative who can take her out for a stroller walk now and then to give you some rest. If you explain that she will cry during the walk but that that’s OK, then maybe you can get some very well deserved rest.
Things will get better, I promise! In a few months time, she is very likely to be a giggling, smiling little girl. And this tough period will start to fade in your memory.
How ever hard it may seem right now, also try to note the little times when she is not crying and enjoy those.
I wish you all the best,
Paula
hi,
It’s a relief to hear I’m not the only mother with a baby that cries all the time it has ben happening since my son was about 1 and 1/2 months old he is now 1 week off 5 months.
I have been to doctor after doctor. One says reflux gave me medication for him didn’t help seemed to upset him. Another said he was hungry and suggested formula that only worked for 2 weeks. Another said he doesn’t have reflux but has colic. I’m getting so stressed out he looks in pain but no doctor listens.
He has a 6-7 hour sleep some nights but I think that is because he is awake all day. it is impossible to get him to sleep i have tried just bout everything I can think of and the comments from people and inlaws driving me nuts i know they just trying to help but 4 months of crying everyday is just tiring.
Getting appointment with another doctor this week see if they help. sorry i got no answers for you but its a relief to know I’m not alone
Colic in newborns is one of the most frustrating experience for parents. However it can be handled although very patient demanding. Thank for the good info!
I’ve known many babies with reflux. If you have a boppy (a U-shaped pillow) have her sleep on that so she’s propped up. Also try burping after every 2 ounces she drinks.
Also babies magic tea is great for their digestion and is safe for very young babies. About 2oz once a day. If you’re EBF mom you can drink it yourself and pass thru your BM or mix it in expressed milk/formula and give her directly.